Have you ever wondered when you’re having guests if it’s okay to ask them to bring things over?
When you are having guests over, there are some questions that you are going to get.
One of the most common ones from them is going to be “What can I bring?” and while you may be tempted to tell them not to bring anything, you need to be careful what you answer.
What if you end up needing something? Not only that, but people generally end up bringing something with them even when you tell them not to bring anything.
And there is no shame in asking someone to bring something to a get-together if they can.
The problem arises when you end up relying on and offloading on your guests, which can end up feeling burdensome and uncomfortable for them!
So what do you answer when people ask you what they should bring?
There are a ton of options depending on why you are having guests over, but there are certain things that etiquette and experts consider to be on the no-no list!
To make sure you do not end up making a bad impression when you are entertaining, we have brought you some of the items you should never ask your guests to bring over!
What do you do when you have guests? Do you ask them to bring something over? Let us know your plan in the comments!
Appetizers
This seems like a small ask, no? Appetizers can be some dips and chips or even a plate of crudités.
However, if you do not know the people you are with well enough, this small request can end up feeling like a big task!
Appetizers look different for everyone, and it can be pretty nerve-wracking for someone to figure out what they should bring. Not to mention, it may not match with what you end up serving later, and it cannot look good.
What’s more, if you end up asking someone to bring something that ends up being vital to the appetizers and they are running late, you end up not having anything else to serve.
This is considered really bad manners, and etiquette experts deeply frown upon it.
Sure, the person in question may be a cheese board expert or make an award-winning dip or salsa, but you cannot count on them, and if they run late, everything can start on the wrong foot.
It is easier to ask them to bring something less timely and important; the likes of wine or part of dessert are better choices.
Dishes for serving
You are the host, and when you are having guests, you are in charge of having all the means to entertain.
This does not mean that you should be breaking the bank on porcelain sets and silverware, but rather that you should be prepared to the best of your ability.
Asking one of your guests to bring over serveware or important utensils is a bad look overall.
It can be tempting to ask someone to bring a showy and old piece of serveware for a tea party, but it can end up putting pressure on the guest. Not only is that piece central to your whole tea party, but it can end up being nerve-wracking to transport such a piece.
What’s more, it could mean that you are asking the guest to come over earlier so you can prepare the stand.
In return, it can feel like you are asking someone to come over and prepare with you instead of asking them to come over as a guest.
Do yourself a favor and see how you can use your own pieces for the parties and entertaining you want to do, or if you want to borrow something, do so from really close friends and family and make sure they are not crucial to the display.
If you’re running low on silverware, you do not have to worry. You can easily find bigger sets at discount stores and even at thrift shops if you are looking for antiques. Other places that are great and convenient are to shop online. This set saved us last time we were entertaining a crowd, and they are long-lasting!
The Main Course
This one goes without saying, but unless you are organizing a potluck, since you are the guest, you should be providing the main meal.
However, it happened that some friends were asked to bring the main course over, and we were all shocked!
Simply put, it is not appropriate to ask someone else to cook the main course for you and then have them log it all the way to your home after they spent hours making it.
This does not mean that you cannot ask your guests to bring a side, sauce, or something of the sort, but you cannot ask them to bring the main course!
For example, it would be like you were hosting people for Thanksgiving only to ask someone else to bring the turkey. You can ask them to bring other small things, but not the main event.
In the event of potlucks, this rule is not followed, but you need to make sure you give everyone the specific instructions that you are hosting a potluck and not just a normal dinner party to avoid any confusion and uncomfortable situations.
Last-Minute Items
If someone is on their way and they call you to ask if you need anything else, then you can, of course, rely on them to bring over certain items that you did not realize you were missing. We’re humans, and it can happen after all!
However, etiquette experts note that it is very inconsiderate and stress-inducing for you to call guests and ask them to bring last-minute items.
Not only do you not know if they can make the trip, but you can end up making them late if they have to go out of their way to fetch the item you are missing.
What’s more, you can never know what plans people have before your get-together, so you can end up placing them in a weird spot with your request.
Certain things that seem small can actually end up being annoying to fetch in the long run, including the likes of ice and ice cream.
People rarely like to log around bags of ice in their nice clothes, and offsetting the stress of things melting too much on your guests when you need ice cream for dessert is just a bad look.
Money for the meal
The worst thing you can end up asking someone for is money.
While for some formal events, such as weddings, guests can end up paying for their meal or reimbursing you by getting items from the registry you have set up, know that when you have guests over, you cannot do the same.
Asking for reimbursement will make people leave with a sour taste in their mouths, and you may never see them come to any events you plan due to this alone.
f you end up inviting people over, you are responsible for paying for everything in order for the night to go as smoothly as possible.
Asking for money is a bad look and a bad practice, and it can look as if you are asking people to pay for things for your home.
As the host, you take on this responsibility and make do. If things end up being a bit too pricey for you, then changing your vision and plan is the first thing on the list, not asking people for reimbursement.
Having guests can end up being quite nerve-wracking, especially if they are not your close family and friends! However, there are certain things you need to make sure are in order, no matter who you are hosting! There are several things that guests usually notice, and if you do not keep them tidy, you may leave a bad impression on them. Check out what the first dirty things are that guests usually notice here!
